How can sadness restore our soul?

Sadness is often described as unhappiness, caused by loss, disappointment, or despair. As the heavy clouds of this emotion descend, many people describe a feeling of helplessness or being backed into a corner. Sadness, far too often, is described as entrapment, as freedom is encroached upon.

This comes from the idea that “sad is bad, happy is good.”

But what if we approach sadness as a neutral entity? This might go against our first instinct–but! Sadness is natural. It is an innate, intrinsic way of feeling this multifaceted life that we live. To respect and honor sadness as the purity of the loss we’ve experienced is to embrace the importance of what we have lost.

I remember a day at the mall, shortly after my daughter died. I walked in the same door she and I always entered through. I walked down that same path she and I would follow, where we would gawk at mannequins and give our opinions on the latest fashion trend. On this day though, I was entirely alone, and more than usual I felt the wide gap of her absence.

The hole where she used to stand was real. I froze. I held my sadness at arm’s length. I shut down. And I proceeded on.

Looking back now, I feel that cold hardness in my heart. In my resistance to sadness, I had to harden the loving parts of my heart, too. It wasn’t until years later that I realized all of the divine healing power that I halted in that moment.

If I had taken that moment, standing in the same spot my daughter and I once shared so much joy and fun together, as an opportunity to embrace my sadness, I do believe I would have felt my daughter closer to me. And cherished the sadness as it led me toward the love we shared.

In that open heart moment, the flow of emotion begins. Like a spring thaw, the hardened river of loss that lives within us is broken up—and released. In this honored allowance, even in moments of great sadness, our heart is restored to wholeness once more.

When do you feel the hardness of sadness inside? What emotions can your heart embrace for restoration?